Thursday, September 4, 2008

God is Flawed

Commentary by Jim Ashby
"God tells Adam and Eve not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If this was the only way they could understand the difference between good and evil, how could they have known that it was wrong to disobey God and eat the fruit?" ~Laurie Lynn

Have you ever born false witness? Stolen something? Coveted your neighbor’s spouse? Indulged in adultery? Defrauded somebody? Some other bona fide sin? Well, if so, how does that compare to eating a fruit from the “Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil”? Isn’t any of these sins just as great, or greater, than eating an apple? If all sins are the same to God and all sin is disobedience to God, then eating the apple was, by God's own terms, a pedestrian sin.

Yet God condemned all of us to death because of a single sin by a pair of humans who had zero experience with life. Are you guilty of Eve’s sin? Of course not! No more so than for Hillary Clinton’s sins or for mine. Right off the bat, common sense tells us that the Bible, in Genesis, is preaching a twisted morality. It puts us in opposition to ourselves by claiming our nature is sinful. Biblical sin is a tool to manipulate and control us via fear and guilt. I reject that neurosis: I believe our nature is basically good but we sometimes make mistakes. If we live life believing we’re no good, then we probably won’t be.

Do you know somebody who has led an exemplary life? If not, I hope you know at least a few ethical, moral, people. This is not to say that they haven’t made mistakes: only that they set a better example than most. On the scales of justice, most people are basically good. If there’s an afterlife, many people deserve free admission. And many people don’t.

But that’s definitely not what the Bible preaches, is it? We’re ALL unworthy sinners.

The Bible says God created the universe, including Adam and Eve. He did this in 6 days; executing his perfect plan on schedule and without a hitch. Adam and Eve were pure and sinless: they had all eternity, in
Eden, to bask in God’s glory.

Unless they pissed him off, of course.

And it doesn’t take much to piss off God. No sir! And second chances? Forget about it. One mistake and you’re history. By the way, all of your offspring, forever, will also be cursed with death. How do you like them apples?

Because of Adam and Eve, we’re all born guilty of “Original Sin”. So much for God’s perfect plan (let’s call it, “plan A”). In fact, Original Sin made the human condition so intractably degenerate that God had to wipe out all life (human or not) with a catastrophic flood so that Noah’s family could start humanity anew, from scratch. This was God’s idea of plan B.

Well guess what? God’s plan B was all for naught. A few thousand years later, humanity had repopulated itself from Noah’s incestuous
Ark and – surprise, surprise – was no better than before. I guess that’s what inbreeding gets you. You’d think God would know that.

Time for plan C.

This time, instead of genocide, God chose suicide. He came to Earth personally, as Jesus, to act out a script he divinely inspired, in biblical prophesy, that ended with his own trial, crucifixion, resurrection and ascension back home to heaven.

Why did God do this? Original Sin. Because of Original Sin, we can never be innocent enough for eternal life. We must be forgiven before heaven’s gates will open for us. If you know your dogma, you know Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross so that we may be redeemed from sin (and have everlasting life). Because God cursed Adam and Eve AND all their descendants – in perpetuity – with death, he had to provide some means for our redemption. The alternative was to abandon us. Quite a conundrum God put himself in, no?

Basically, God had to “save” us from the curse he imputed upon us to begin with. I’m amazed that so many people don’t see through this preposterous charade. Perhaps the pretzel logic is too tangled for most to unravel. The Bible would have us believe – and doctrine upholds – that we are all miserable wretches who will be granted eternal life only if we love Jesus. Of course, this assumes we can trust God not to resort to a plan D or E or whatever. After all, God is all-powerful and a perfectionist: who’s going to stop him from tossing out plan C if he decides, yet again, that he still hasn’t gotten creation right?

God must regret cursing mankind with death. If God is perfect, we can’t say he makes mistakes; so I prefer to say he has regrets. Anyway, I suppose God was hot-headed in his youth; the Old Testament clearly depicts him with a short fuse. So once he imputed death upon us, he couldn’t “un-impute” it. I mean, he’s God! Right? His word is law and immutable. What kind of self-respecting God would change his mind? If God is love, then I guess it’s true that, “love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

Eventually, God found a loophole in his own immutable law: leave mankind cursed but offer individuals an exemption by redemption. Yeah, that’s the ticket! For Christ’s sake – why didn’t God think of plan C before plan B? After all, if redemption is a workable plan, God flooded the Earth and wiped-out humanity for nothing. I hate when that happens!

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think that the Supreme Being should be an elected position. Surely we can put somebody with more foresight onto the throne of the Ruler of the Universe. At least, if we elect poorly, we can vote for a replacement next time.

1 comment:

Candace said...

God is FLAWED? Blasphemer! :)

"I reject that neurosis." Good one!